![]() I just kinda do whatever he draws attention to. Nowadays, my fiancé gets so irritated with me because I have no real plans or goals. I was told what to do, how to do it, and with what attitude I should have for it. I was constantly being corrected in everything from posture to behavior. I can’t even truly blame them either knowing what they went through themselves growing up. My parent probably wasn’t as bad as some of the others on here, but even having a mildly narcissistic parent can affect you. So I pick up the pieces, otherwise she makes me feel guilty for her shortcomings.” - Kirsten F. Even to this day, I take care of my mother because she can’t financially take care of herself. ![]() “Taking on everyone else’s problems, even when I didn’t need to. I have to hear someone speak and interact with another person before I start talking.” - Shayla F. “I can’t talk around new people because I’m afraid my parent’s words are going to come out of their mouths. “I look for the tiniest change in attitude (even texting differently) and try to think of all the ways I could be in trouble with that person regardless of if they tell me we’re OK.” - Tasha B. Reading Into Social Interactions Too Deeply Minimizing my own feelings in discussions with others.” - Gretchen E. “Smiling all the time when I’m with most people, no matter how I’m really feeling on the inside. I feel like my mom was never made to be accountable so I am beyond rigid in my expectation of others taking responsibility for themselves and their actions.” - Laura H. “ I won’t allow anyone to ‘get by’ with anyone. Holding Others Accountable for Their Actions Feeling inadequate among siblings or others.” - Vini A. Making sure everything is OK so you don’t get into trouble or because you’re not sure why you were in trouble. Countless times have I eaten somewhere I didn’t like because I didn’t want to say what I wanted out of fear that I would get the same exasperated sigh my mom always did, ‘ Fine, we’ll go where you want, I just won’t eat.’” - Anoka-Wynona A. It makes me physically uncomfortable to impose my decisions upon somebody, even though it’s completely normal. ‘What do you want to eat’ turns into an internal battle of, ‘Do I say what I want to avoid the argument?’ ‘I don’t want to say what I want to avoid an argument about different food preferences’ and ‘I don’t know, you choose’ to avoid an argument. Decisions were always made for me, and choosing something myself as a kid was always an inconvenience and now it still feels that way. “The habit people that know me don’t realize is because of my mother, is that I don’t like making decisions. It’s a constant cycle… It takes time and a lot of mental awareness to tell myself there are things outside of my control or things I can’t fix and I have to accept that.” - Cherish I. If someone in one of my classes at school is talking while the professor is talking and I see my professor start to get annoyed, I feel like I did something wrong. When a family member is in an emergency situation beyond my control, I feel guilt for not being able to do something to help them. It could be as simple as trying to help another person out, but they continue to go downhill… I take that as a personal failure, I didn’t do enough. “I have a few, but one I think I carry with me every day is faulting myself for things that are out of my control. In reality, I guess it was because I always tried to please everyone, especially my parents.” - Heather H. I guess I always feel like I’ve done something wrong. Sometimes I actually apologize for my personality.” - Susi D. “I apologize to everyone about everything. So the onus was on me to be the ‘good’ or ‘perfect’ child.” - Monika S. I learned I had to be ‘perfect’ or my mom might flip out. “Constantly saying ‘I’m bad.’ I assume everything is my fault and that somehow I’m a bad person, bad student, bad wife, bad patient, etc. “I never had praise from my father, so I would also do my best to please people so they would like me.” - Maxine R. I just recently have been able to see how my mom’s behaviors and attitude have affected me and don’t let her current actions affect me as much.” - Shannon R. I’ve grown into being a people-pleaser with a lot of people and I drive my husband ‘crazy’ because I’m always looking for praise or acknowledgment for the littlest things. I could do anything and my dad tells me how proud of me he is, while I can’t recall my mom ever telling me that for anything I’ve done. “I definitely attribute some of my anxiety to this. Here are some “habits” people have after growing up with a narcissistic parent: 1. You can always reach out to our Mighty community by posting a Thought or Question using the hashtag #CheckInWithMe. The aftermath of growing up with a narcissistic parent can be tough, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
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